End of an Era

Time to get sentimental and unleash the deep thoughts!

With a mere three days left, school is now coming to a close. I can't help but feel torn about this. On the one hand, I am ecstatic, excited and overwhelmed with relief. On the other, I am worried and unsure of the future. I am quite certain of my path, but it is still a bit scary to think that this era is coming to an end, bringing on all kinds of strange possibilities. Maybe I should just become a hooker and not have to ponder these silly hand-related analogies.

Exams are approaching. I have less than two weeks to study a whole year's worth of information.
Great.
As you can probably guess, it is stressful. Saying that, I am surprised by how well I am coping so far. Normally when I am stressed I get sick. My body tends to be dramatic like that. In the Semester 1 exams, I appeared to be dying of insomnia, headaches, dizzy spells, nausea, cramped muscles, sore back and neck and all kinds of ailments that only a true hypochondriac, like myself, could possibly conjure from something as minimal as stress. One of my many talents. This year, however, I am dealing with the stress in a less theatrical way. There are many small things that I am now doing to help with stress, but a surprisingly beneficial technique is gum.
Yes, you read that right.
Gum.
Small, minty pillows of delight that can bottle worries, brew glory and even put a stopper in stress.
I have no idea why, but I am now addicted. Oh well, I'm not complaining. They help me relax, study harder (when I actually have the motivation to do so), and not to mention the intoxicating scent they leave, wafting from my breath like a breeze of fresh air.

I should advertise minty gum...


Many new and glorious people are now being introduced to the magical life of Jon. I have been thrust into the welcoming arms of an entire new social group, who are all more than lovely. The funny thing is, one of the members is my next-door neighbour, and I never even realised it until after I was welcomed to the group. How small this world is! But not literally. I'm pretty sure a diameter of 12,756.32 kilometers doesn't exactly class as small.
I have also began to expand my social life to south of the river, where I have befriended an amazing new guy. He is sweet, kind and very cute. I am looking forward to seeing him more. But enough of that. The internet is no place for such discussions! Which is a total lie because the internet is made for everything.
95% porn, fair enough.
But it has other uses.
Such as this amazing blog you are reading right now. Which is amazing. From this amazing person. Who is also amazing. Just to remind you, in case you forgot.

My relevant word of the day would probably have the be "narcissism".
I jest. You all know I'm kidding.


The REAL relevant word of the day is actually "amazing".
Because I am.

Amazing.

Just to clarify...

My New Boyfriend

Hey again. Just wanted to let you know that I have a new boyfriend.
He is truly amazing!
He is the lead guitarist/singer in his own band! How cool is that!?? =D
He really makes me happy and we both make each other laugh all the time. We really bond, you know? I personally think that this will go far. Who knows, maybe one day we'll elope to New York and get married. =)

So yeah, just wanted to tell you all about him, because he is a big part of my life now, and I wanted to share our happiness with you.

Oh, by the way his name is Matt Bellamy.
That's right, MATT BELLAMY.

Jealous?

I know that no one will believe me, so here is photographic evidence of our love.

Fresh love <3

I know that no one will believe me, so here is photographic evidence of our love.


~ Random Story ~

So not too long ago, I was in work, and one of my work friends really surprised me with something. We were on the topic of what we want to do after we graduate (I want to study French for a while, go to France, come back then go to uni to study either teaching or psychology), and he told me he wanted to join the army as a rifleman. This shocked me, to be honest. This is how the rest of the conversation went:
Me: "Wow, aren't you scared?"
Him: "... Yeah."
Me: "Then why are you doing it?"
Him: "To serve my country. You can't let fear hold you back in life."
Me: *stunned into silence*

I don't know, I was really shocked my this. It sort of challenged my cynical views on Generation Y.
Was it wrong for me to be so shocked?

Also, I was really conflicted by how to feel about this new information. I respected him for this unexpected display of bravery, but I also pitied him. I am against conflict, so joining the army isn't something I agree with, but I do not press my views on others. I still respect him for his brave choice, despite how wasteful I think it is. I hope I'm not the only one that thinks this way.



That's all for now.

Jon out! x

Cultural Ignorance

So, I was on Omegle, trolling as I do. Then I got this one person who is one of those people that know nothing of Australia other than it is a bush-desert country full of koalas, kangaroos and the citizens live in tin shacks and wrestle crocodiles before eating tucker. Ah, I love having fun with such ignorance.
As you can imagine, I trolled them. I trolled them well.

Here is the conversation:

You: Where are you from? =)

Stranger: You first

You: Australia

You: Land down under

You: Full of drop bears and chlamydia infected koala bears

Stranger: Wow

Stranger: im from singapore

Stranger: Its hot here

Stranger: ALMOST EVERYDAY

You: Jealous

You: Australian summers are hot

You: Mainly because I'm here

Stranger: Oh no you wouldnt be if you live here

Stranger: Its better in australia i bet

You: Well a week ago, a drop bear ate my dog =/

You: Not that great here

Stranger: OMG S

Stranger: SERIOUS

Stranger: ?

You: Yeah

You: They're really bad in my part of town

Stranger: they can eat you up anytime if thats the case

You: Nah they're not big enough

You: They're like dogs

You: They've injured a few people though

Stranger: ohhhh wow thats serious

Stranger: the authority didnt take any actions on the bears?

You: They're an endangered species so we're not allowed to kill them

You: We just have to put up fences to try keep them out, but they always climb over anyway

You: I have a scar on my ankle from where one bit me when I was 8

Stranger: Omg thats terrible

Stranger: really

Stranger: build a cage?

Stranger: since fences doesnt work

You: Not allowed to put them in cages

You: The PADB will be on our case (Protection of Australian Drop Bears).

You: Probably get a fine

Stranger: ohhhh wow

Stranger: so the authority rather let the bears hurt you guys

You: Pretty much. Rather we get a couple of scratches and bites than let the species go extinct

You: Because they eat koalas and keep the population down

You: Because we're starting to get over populated with koalas

Stranger: ohhhhhh koalas are cute!!

You: Hence the chlamydia outbreak

You: Haha not when they have chlamydia

Stranger: whats chlamydia?

You: A sexually transmitted disease

Stranger: WOW

You: My pet koala, Rogers, has it. He's at the vet at the moment but we get him back tomorrow! =)

You: http://www.aolnews.com/2010/09/17/koala-population-ravaged-by-chlamydia/
That was an article about the chlamydia outbreak

You: At first they thought they'd be extinct within 30 years, but then the koala population just went crazy and they started breeding heaps

You: Now you'll be lucky to walk to the shops without seeing a couple in the trees

Stranger: wow

Stranger: im speechless!

Stranger: haha

You: It was pretty big over here

Stranger: You mean the population of the koalas?

You: No the chlamydia outbreak

Stranger: oh

You: It spread to humans in a couple of cities because people would catch it from the koalas

Stranger: WOW

You: Serves them right though, it's law to use a condom with a koala

Stranger: WHAT?

Stranger: They have sex with the koala?

You: Yeah it's legal here, as long as you use a condom. There aren't many women in Australia...

Stranger: Omg...

Stranger: Unnatural sex

Stranger: have you heard of it?

You: It's natural for Australia

Stranger: so do you have sex with the koala?

You: Sometimes, it's pretty much just like Kangaroo.

Stranger: oh

You: Rogers is kind of the family koala though, so I don't want to make things awkward.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.


I love stupid people! =D

Introduction

So, time for introductions!

Enchanté, mes amis.  My name is Jon and I live in Australia. I am gay - yes, that's right, I like my men. Love it or leave. =) Just so that you have an understanding of what I look like, I drew you a picture.

Beautiful, I know. As you can clearly see, I am an artist. A very talented one, at that. I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm probably better than Michelangelo.  Just being honest.
What you also might have gathered from that incredibly detailed self-portrait is that I am amazingly good looking. I mean, come on. Look at that drawing. If that isn't pure beauty, I don't know what is.

Anyway, onto more relevant (and factual) things.

Just to add a touch of mystery, I will give you different possible backgrounds so that you may choose my history and personality for yourself.

I was either:

Born in Africa, raised as a monkey and brought over to Australia in an unhygienic crate to be displayed in zoos across the West coast.

Or,

I was born in England and traveled to Australia when I was six for a better lifestyle.

Your decision.



Now, onto friends.

I am either:

So popular that absolutely everybody wants to be my friend, touch my skin for some form of comforting glory, and smell my hair for innate desires of closeness.

Or,

I have a small handful of friends and wished I had more.


(But the first is the clear choice...)


So Jon, how old are?

Let's just say I am:

Old enough to have a long, billowing beard that instantaneously announces my divine and endless wisdom and knowledge to all those that see it.

Or,

I am young enough to be surrounded by idiots who talk sh*t all the time.


Duh.


I think you have a pretty good understanding of me by now.
It is very obvious, isn't it?

So there you go. That's me.
Now that you have gotten to know me a little, let me get to know you a little.

Please tell me about yourself, as I am always glad to meet new people and make new friends!


For now, my good chum.

Goodnight. x